It’s been months since I went to the Brisbane Bayside Runners and Walkers Saturday morning club run. I guess my absence is a combination of my being busy doing other things on Saturdays and a personal challenge I realise I have to overcome. See, when I get close to people I get scared they are going to reject me so I have this terrible habit of taking pre-emptive action.
I could go into a long discussion about why I have this destructive pattern of behaviour but this isn’t the space for that. But I am holding myself accountable for it and am going to change because I don’t need to protect myself anymore. I can be part of a group and simply enjoy myself.
I had a similar situation arise this week where I almost gave up my involvement in triathlon volunteering. I started to make excuses for myself why I shouldn’t be involved but, truth be told, I would only be punishing myself if I quit. That’s not to say I don’t have legitimate feedback about how the experience could be more enjoyable, but that’s always the case with us Generation X/Yers. 😉 .
Back to the club run. I thoroughly enjoyed the 6am trot along the waterfront in the company of fabulous people. We ran and talked while the sun rose over the bay. Then we hung out at the bakery for an hour afterwards eating birthday cake, drinking ‘coffees’ and talking some more.
Total: 6.79km @ 5:24 pace with average heart rate 90% max (probably artificially inflated by the talking) and average temperature 13’C.