I don’t usually talk much about it but I am a man of faith. It’s something important in my life but, like so many things, I sometimes forget to stop and listen to my faith.
Lately I’ve been doing a lot of complaining about my back. I’ve been a little self-centred. It’s normal and it’s human to feel this way sometimes. But it’s important not to make it a habit because it can become a trap.
This morning I went to Mass. As a Catholic I have been absent from church services since I left school in 1996. My transition from female-to-male in 1998 created a barrier between me and the institution of my religion but did not hamper my faith. If anything, it forced to evaluate my beliefs and strengthened my commitment to live in Jesus image. Recently, I had the courage to write my local priest, Fr Marce, to ask whether I would be welcome in his parish as a transgender man. He welcomed me with open arms and I have now attended two of his services.
Returning to the point of this post: This morning I felt the call to attend Mass. And I listened.
The Gospel and sermon were about how we need to put Jesus at the centre of our beings because Jesus is about Peace. It was about how sometimes worries and anxieties fill us with darkness but that Peace will push the darkness aside.
It’s nothing I didn’t already know. But it is something I had forgotten. It’s something I needed to hear.
As I sat and prayed I engaged my core, I sat up straight, I relaxed my shoulders and I remembered to breath. And today I will focus my chi on allowing peace to flow rather than on complaining about something that is a minor frustration in the broad scheme of things. A frustration that is actually creating space in my life for reflection, refocus and a pain free future.